I really dread the auto drivers in BANGALORE.I have had a few uninviting experiences from these auto drivers and always wonder where on hell, do these people get that sucking attitude.Imagine, making an almost-full-term pregnant woman, walk quite some distance, just because the auto driver had to wait at the signal for some time and would not benefit much out of it!!!!I have always found that one as one of the ruthless incidents that has happened in my life!!And then my spouse says he is gonna complain for this reckless attitude of his - pops the reply...Do what u can!!This auto belongs to a police man!!How shocking!!!And I have this s**t load of auto drivers, hanging around my apartment complex, literally mocking and teasing ppl going around.And they demand, Rs.50 for traveling less than 1.5 kms!!Gross!!And they would not want to take us where we want to except if you wanna travel to their girls friends' place, in which case you stand a great chance!!!I don mean to say that any of the cities are exceptions to this sucking attitude, but surely not to the extent of Bengalaru!!
This particular article on Yahoo!! reflects exactly about these auto drivers!!I love the irony used in this!!.Read this article by Anand Ramachandran....
I recently had the opportunity to experience Bengaluru for the first time through the eyes of a resident. It is a city of many delights - the easiest on the eye among all Indian metros, the advantages of a modern lifestyle (though only until 11 pm, more on that later) without losing out on a certain old-India charm, and a climate that gently, smilingly urges you to forgive the city's idiosyncrasies, generally with a very respectable success percentage.
My new job having given me the opportunity to escape the bullying, brutal Mumbai summer, and the relatively easy pace of Bengaluru cushioning the impact of being separated from the great things I love about about Mumbai(my family, functioning public transport, nightlife and, most importantly, home delivery.), I was able to approach life in my new home with a cool, breezy confidence not unlike that shown by Duke Nukem on learning that aliens had invaded Earth, and were planning to steal away our babes. (I read that as 'babies' when editing my draft, even though I myself had written it - a clear sign of priorities shifting with age)
Right up until the moment I had to encounter the famous auto-rickshaw drivers of Bengaluru.
When you move from Mumbai to Bengaluru, along with warm welcomes and tearful goodbyes, you will also be flooded with well-meaning advice about auto drivers - friends will warn you about how they are a lazy, greedy lot (being either lazy or greedy is fine by me, but being both poses a rather sticky logical problem. Which can be solved only by a third ingredient - stupidity) who are intent on fleecing innocent commuters. However, this is plainly wrong, and an injustice, as I soon discovered.
For the first few days, my observations led me to the conclusion that auto-rickshaws in Bengaluru existed for purely decorative reasons, serving no actual function. Like teenagers in malls, they merely hang about, occasionally moving around purposelessly in what appear to be random directions and refuse to interact in any way with bystanders, even if said bystanders happen to be frantically waving their arms about, clearly desperate to get to a hospital or airport. It's almost as if the city authorities got together and decided that, in addition to the many gardens, fountains and statues, Bengaluru needed a sprinkling of auto-rickshaws around the city as part of its beautification plan. Sort of like plonking down those useless but ornamental objects into your empty lots in all those Sim-City type videogames, in order to get bonus points.
However, after a few more weeks of careful study, I chanced upon the truth about the auto drivers of Bengaluru. You see, unlike their counterparts in Mumbai who are essentially businessmen or those in Chennai who are essentially gangsters, the Bengaluru auto driver is a man of higher moral fibre. He is a hobbyist, who is driving the rickshaw not as a profession or duty, but merely in pursuit of pleasure and perfection - much like a violinist, painter or mountaineer. If his hobby earns him some money along the way, then that's fine, but it is not all important.
This is why they merely cruise around the streets of the city, picking up fares merely if and when their whims urge them to, with a carefree disregard for profit or efficiency, which are the burdens of a man who is trying to earn a living. These men are on a different mission, they have a higher purpose - rickshaw driving for rickshaw driving's own sake. Not for them the crassness of commerce. This is why people who compare Bengaluru auto drivers unfavourably with those of Mumbai, merely because they charge higher fare and refuse to ply, are making a mistake. Expecting a Bengaluru auto driver to take you where you want to go at metre fare is like expecting Dr.M.Balamuralikrishna to come and sing at your daughter's birthday party, at the same rates charged by an amateur light music troupe. It is unfair and insulting, not to mention delusional.
I have decided to leave these men to their relentless pursuit of high art and take buses instead. It's the respectful thing to do.
Another curious thing about Bangalorea . . . er . . . Bengalureans (city authorities should really consider the impact of their hasty name changes on derivative words such as this) is their liberal interpretation of the term 'dead end'.
According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary a dead end is defined as 'an end (as of a street) without an exit'. But not according to Bengalureans. They will cheerfully ask you to do such seemingly impossible things as "take a left turn at the dead end". By which they really mean "take a left turn atthe T-intersection, which is what I really mean when I cluelessly say 'dead end'. Pliss don't mind it."
I often wonder what it would be like if there was a suspenseful, thrilling chase sequence in, say, a vampire novel, set in Bengaluru. It might be something along the lines of this :
As he pursued his frightened quarry into the bylanes, Gangrel knew that he would feed soon on fresh blood. The unfortunate wretch had, in sheer panic, lurched into a dead end. Gangrel had him cornered now - it would not be long before he would taste the sweet, coppery taste of a kill.
"Give up, fool. This is a dead end, there is no way out. I have you know.", said Gangrel.
The human smiled. "Nope. You forget - this is Bengaluru." he shot back, before suddenly taking a left turn and vanishing.
"Shit.", said Gangrel.
You have to feel for Gangrel - but then, vampires would have to be pretty stupid to hunt in Bengaluru. Nobody steps out here after dark anyway.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Thursday, February 03, 2011
Happily un divorced
Came across this article on Y!Its a must read for this Gen people!!!Here is a mid way solution between adjusting completely to your husband and taking the extreme step of divorce, which is still a taboo in the Indian society.This gets' carried on when there are kids involved.Obvious that its' not a healthy set up for the kids to live in but at least better than all the things that the kid has to go thro' in a formal divorce.Read on...
When Akansha Kumar found that her 13- year old marriage was on the rocks and the emotional chasm between her and her hubby Abhay Kumar just couldn’t be bridged, there was nothing to do but part ways.
They decided they would separate rather than file for divorce.
That’s the way it’s been these five years — they continue to accompany each other at social events and attend their 10- year- old son’s PTMs ( parents- teachers meetings) together.
Welcome to the world of the undivorced, where couples opt to live a life of compromise rather than go through the socio-economic and emotional hassle of a legal separation.
When Tulika Gupta uncovered the dark secrets of her philandering husband, she decided to teach him a lesson. But after consulting lawyers and close friends, she opted to walk out of the marriage and live separately. “ We have taken a joint home loan and have each other’s names as nominees in our investment, we have each other’s name as spouses in our passports.
Moreover, our kids are 15 and 18, what’s the point in putting the whole family through the hassle of a divorce,” says Gupta, who runs a consultancy firm in Gurgaon.
TAKING IT EASY
Though there isn’t any statistics, divorce lawyers and marriage experts believe that separation without divorce is proving to be a popular alternative. “ Staying estranged seems to be a popular trend among couples. They enjoy the status quo especially if there are children involved. Going to court involves a lot of trouble. Men are afraid they will have to pay huge maintenance,” says Osama Suhail, divorce lawyer.
The hope of giving a failed marriage another chance to survive also plays a crucial role in couples opting for a separation instead of a divorce. Kamal Kaur and Ajit Sidhu opted to part ways to give their eight- year- old marriage a ‘ breather’. Now after five years of parting ways, they have grown closer as friends rather than couples. They make it a point to meet each other on weekends for lunch and attend social gatherings as husband and wife. However, both are happy with the arrangement. “ I know that he has girlfriends and he knows about my relationships.
We have decided not to remarry; I don’t want my kid to blame me for the divorce when she grows up,” says Kaur, an event manager.
If convenience plays a crucial role, the social taboo related to divorce also forces couples to stay estranged. “ Divorce is still big step for couples. And the hope of coming together and working out the relationship, keep some couples’ hopes alive.
Legal hassles are also a big trouble.
Couples who have been estranged for over 10 years usually move on with their lives,” says Dr Isha Singh, clinical psychiatrist, Max Healthcare.
In a society where being a single woman still raises eyebrows, divorcees face social ridicule.
“ Women want to avoid the stigma. For children, it’s good to have the father around, especially at the time of their marriage.
More than men, its women who don’t want to go to court for a divorce,” says Priya Hingorani, senior lawyer, Supreme Court.
With a quick hearing not possible in divorce cases, couples often have to do the rounds of the courts several times before the final settlement is drawn. At times, cases drag on for four to five years, draining people emotionally and financially. “ For women, the delay in proceedings acts as a deterrent. In the case of middle- aged people, they go for divorce only if they remarry,” says Suhail.
TOO OLD TO QUIT
At times, age too plays a deterrent, preventing couples from going for a divorce. Aged 38 and 42, Smitha and Arun Shekhar, knew they weren’t estranged because they needed to remarry.
It was the need of more individual space that forced them to seperate. “ We know that we will be there for each other in the case of an emergency. Moreover, we don’t have any plans get marry again. Our finances are in both our names and we still operate a joint account. I don’t see the need to go through a pile of paperwork to change our marital status in our passports, address details and nominations in our investments,” says Smitha.
Psychologist and lifestyle expert Dr Rachana Singh feels that for some couples, it’s the emotional comfort zone which bars them from going through the ugly divorce battles.
Terming separation as a decision of comfort, divorce lawyer Meenakshi Lekhi, says such the arrangement works only if both benefit from it. “ In such cases, children will remain common and there is no bitterness. The main reason is social embarrassment.
If the wife goes to court, the husband may end up losing a major chunk of their property. The price tag for a divorce is too high in terms of monetary loss for men and social stigma for women. I wouldn’t say that staying separate is the trend, but it’s certainly more talked about now than before,” says Lekhi.
However, Dr Singh has a word of caution. “ If couples are separated, it’s often better to get it over legally — it’s not healthy to stay separate just for convenience.” says Singh. But then, neither is it very easy to make a clean break of certain relationships.
When Akansha Kumar found that her 13- year old marriage was on the rocks and the emotional chasm between her and her hubby Abhay Kumar just couldn’t be bridged, there was nothing to do but part ways.
They decided they would separate rather than file for divorce.
That’s the way it’s been these five years — they continue to accompany each other at social events and attend their 10- year- old son’s PTMs ( parents- teachers meetings) together.
Welcome to the world of the undivorced, where couples opt to live a life of compromise rather than go through the socio-economic and emotional hassle of a legal separation.
When Tulika Gupta uncovered the dark secrets of her philandering husband, she decided to teach him a lesson. But after consulting lawyers and close friends, she opted to walk out of the marriage and live separately. “ We have taken a joint home loan and have each other’s names as nominees in our investment, we have each other’s name as spouses in our passports.
Moreover, our kids are 15 and 18, what’s the point in putting the whole family through the hassle of a divorce,” says Gupta, who runs a consultancy firm in Gurgaon.
TAKING IT EASY
Though there isn’t any statistics, divorce lawyers and marriage experts believe that separation without divorce is proving to be a popular alternative. “ Staying estranged seems to be a popular trend among couples. They enjoy the status quo especially if there are children involved. Going to court involves a lot of trouble. Men are afraid they will have to pay huge maintenance,” says Osama Suhail, divorce lawyer.
The hope of giving a failed marriage another chance to survive also plays a crucial role in couples opting for a separation instead of a divorce. Kamal Kaur and Ajit Sidhu opted to part ways to give their eight- year- old marriage a ‘ breather’. Now after five years of parting ways, they have grown closer as friends rather than couples. They make it a point to meet each other on weekends for lunch and attend social gatherings as husband and wife. However, both are happy with the arrangement. “ I know that he has girlfriends and he knows about my relationships.
We have decided not to remarry; I don’t want my kid to blame me for the divorce when she grows up,” says Kaur, an event manager.
If convenience plays a crucial role, the social taboo related to divorce also forces couples to stay estranged. “ Divorce is still big step for couples. And the hope of coming together and working out the relationship, keep some couples’ hopes alive.
Legal hassles are also a big trouble.
Couples who have been estranged for over 10 years usually move on with their lives,” says Dr Isha Singh, clinical psychiatrist, Max Healthcare.
In a society where being a single woman still raises eyebrows, divorcees face social ridicule.
“ Women want to avoid the stigma. For children, it’s good to have the father around, especially at the time of their marriage.
More than men, its women who don’t want to go to court for a divorce,” says Priya Hingorani, senior lawyer, Supreme Court.
With a quick hearing not possible in divorce cases, couples often have to do the rounds of the courts several times before the final settlement is drawn. At times, cases drag on for four to five years, draining people emotionally and financially. “ For women, the delay in proceedings acts as a deterrent. In the case of middle- aged people, they go for divorce only if they remarry,” says Suhail.
TOO OLD TO QUIT
At times, age too plays a deterrent, preventing couples from going for a divorce. Aged 38 and 42, Smitha and Arun Shekhar, knew they weren’t estranged because they needed to remarry.
It was the need of more individual space that forced them to seperate. “ We know that we will be there for each other in the case of an emergency. Moreover, we don’t have any plans get marry again. Our finances are in both our names and we still operate a joint account. I don’t see the need to go through a pile of paperwork to change our marital status in our passports, address details and nominations in our investments,” says Smitha.
Psychologist and lifestyle expert Dr Rachana Singh feels that for some couples, it’s the emotional comfort zone which bars them from going through the ugly divorce battles.
Terming separation as a decision of comfort, divorce lawyer Meenakshi Lekhi, says such the arrangement works only if both benefit from it. “ In such cases, children will remain common and there is no bitterness. The main reason is social embarrassment.
If the wife goes to court, the husband may end up losing a major chunk of their property. The price tag for a divorce is too high in terms of monetary loss for men and social stigma for women. I wouldn’t say that staying separate is the trend, but it’s certainly more talked about now than before,” says Lekhi.
However, Dr Singh has a word of caution. “ If couples are separated, it’s often better to get it over legally — it’s not healthy to stay separate just for convenience.” says Singh. But then, neither is it very easy to make a clean break of certain relationships.
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